i think we’re haunted

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She’d heard it.

Though it was barely audible, something between a hiss and a murmur, she’d heard her name. She spun round and eyed the cavernous room. Her eyes traveled along the wooden shelves that lined one wall, filled from floor to ceiling with dusty tomes that only the second prince had the patience and focus to peruse. On the other side of the room was his bed, draped in silks of green and gold. She had found herself in that very bed numerous times before—be it after a night of passion or quiet, relaxed conversation—and it had just been them, Sif and Loki, and all of the expectations and mores of the royal court melted away in the dark. She sighed, halting the thoughts that had begun to sharpen in her memory, for they belonged in the past. The second prince’s bedchamber had been uninhabited for weeks now (ever since that day when they had mourned; she had mourned) and she swallowed against the lump building in her throat. She noticed that the sheets of parchment which had perpetually remained scattered on his wooden desk were now piled in a neat stack. His throwing knives had been propped up on one shelf; his helmet sat, gold and glinting and oddly melancholy, beside them. Perhaps the queen had requested that her younger son’s bedchamber be tidied up. Perhaps the royal family was beginning to move on; perhaps life in Asgard was falling back into some state of normalcy. Perhaps she should, as well.

As she made her way towards the double-doors, her eyes caught a glimpse of one of the many nooks of the room. These spaces, tucked in the corners and enveloped in shadows, were one of his favorite spots to hide away and think. She let her eyes focus on the darkness, but looked away—her skin felt cold and prickly and something deep between her lungs throbbed and hurt and the lump in her throat was threatening to come back.

The god of mischief had absolutely loved to play his games. And she was haunted.

December

reminds me
of a year gone by –
that first “I love you”
echoing in the hush
of the night, awkward
but earnest.

A note.

There was something cruel and ironic in listening to that line ring. Once, twice, eight times, then nothing. She wondered if the universe was giving her a message. Tough luck, kid, you’re on your own!

Even the fucking suicide hotline didn’t care.

It was dark and silent in her room. Too silent. It unnerved her. She punched the redial button and listened to the ringing once more.

She didn’t really know exactly when she had gone from generally blissful and carefree (if somewhat… spacey) to depressed, mood-swinging and suicidal. Maybe it was during the transition to college. Or maybe it was when she realized that nobody cared. Or maybe she had been like that all these years, the former masking the latter. Or maybe–

God! Her thoughts, they were all over the place again. She was a mess, a train wreck taking all those poor passengers onboard and engulfing them in flames and smoke and general chaos.

Wait, what? See, just describing how train wreck-y her thoughts were caused those thoughts to cause a train wreck all on their own.

Train wreck, train wreck, train wreck. She needed a new metaphor. Plane crash. Okay. Well, this plane was tired and lonely and depressed and needed a fucking good reason to fly one more trip to one more distant land.

Sigh. The metaphor was still heavy-handed and pretty lousy, but it did put a smile on her face.

“Hi, this is the national lifeline center, how can we be of help?”

She waited a beat. “I’m a fucking plane.”

She hung up, convinced that she had most certainly gone off the deep end.

–––

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS AND I AM SORRY

Paintings.

Trace my skin and paint

pictures with your fingertips;

I am your canvas.

RAAAarrrr.

I will still love you

with all my half-eaten heart

and festering brain.

I used to be the belle of the ball, you know.

I reckon that would be quite difficult to imagine, now that I am wrinkled and frail. Oh, if you had seen me in my younger days! Creamy white and elegant– you don’t see that kind of understated yet sophisticated beauty nowadays, do you?

These days, I spend my time, alone, in this dusty old room, with only memories of my youth to keep me company.

And my proudest memory thus far? December the tenth. Oh, don’t make me recall precisely which year—I have never been good with that! However, I am certain a few decades have passed. Ah, but I digress.

December the tenth. The day she walked down the aisle, wearing me. I hugged her body in all the right places, my curves and lines all sleek and graceful, my train a waterfall of silk and organza behind her.  I was downright perfect. How did I know for sure? Why, the look on the groom’s face, of course.

I told you I was once the star, the center of attention. What is a bride without her wedding dress, after all?

Randomly-generated prompt was to “write in the point of view of an old wedding dress”. Yeah, I don’t know either.

What goes on in my head during History class.

I sit
behind you
in History

Oh, how
could I be
so unlucky

to sit
behind an
obnoxious ass

who thinks
she’s the best
in the whole class

Truly
I despise
the way you act

Kindly
shut up; I
swear you’ll get smacked

As I
stare at the
back of your head

I think
how lovely
if you were dead

In class
I daydream
of brandishing

a bat
so I may
bash your head in

Perhaps
a gun would
be sufficient

to quell
my growing
killing intent

Alas!
All these are
just fantasy

though I
admit they
entertain me

Maybe
I am not
so unlucky

to sit
behind you
in History.

Fragmented.

Fragmented– for I

left behind a piece of me

in Kalayaan.

Early morning walk.

Early morning walk

on the tree-lined path: sunshine

and stolen kisses.

Breakfast in bed.

Would you like breakfast

in bed? Waffles and tea and

cuddle-fight after!

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